Sidestory; Family Matters: Silva (Two)
* * *
AN: Last week, I didn't have the energy to write when I had the time, but I have both now. Similar hiatuses are unlikely to happen again soon.
This is the cobtinuation to the first part of the Family Matters series' Silva storyline. There are going to be at least three parts, but there might be more.
* * *
Mia
I was pleasantly tired when I returned home, thinking that, for once, I might just get to enjoy the drowsiness that was the closest zmei could come to exhaustion.
Should've known better.
I was silently thanking Abyss for helping me get to this point as I walked in and stretched, arms overhead. David's house, which I was starting to think of as ours more and more, had almost replaced my apartment as my usual haunt.
Zmeu country was always nice to return to, but recently, being there just reminded me of what slow progress I was making on my demesne, and the country wasn't the sort of place where you went to skulk.
I was sitting on one of the couches, rubbing my eyes, when I saw the dark shape in the doorway. For an instant, I almost thought it was David, their auras were so similar, but reason quickly caught up with my senses and I noticed the differences.
It was thin, resembling a scarecrow with its sparse form swathed in voluminous black robes. Not gigantic, but its gauntness made it look taller than it was, as if someone had stretched it out and there was only so much left.
I knew some people saw my boyfriend as a Grim Reaper figure, especially when he came to take them to the afterlife or end them - power like that makes your perception buckle - but I still felt silly for confusing them with each other.
DEATH didn't have its scythe in the open when it entered the luving room, but, once I stood up and it came close enough that I could glimpse it on its back, it suddenly seemed much more visible, as if it had grown, or like someone had polished its ivory-coloured blade to a mirror sheen.
LADY IN FLAMES.
I nodded in greeting. Names were names, and being acknowledged only deserved so much in return.
I was probably being bitchy, but it had entered my house without asking, and we weren't friends at the best of times.
'Are you looking for David?' I asked instead of saying hello. A ridiculous question, sure; if it was and hadn't found him, my much duller senes wouldn't help. But we had little to talk about otherwise.
It shook its head, a skull covered in pale flesh as thin as paper, one skeletal hand resting on the handle of the scythe slung across its back. I wondered if it was a reassuring gesture, like me drawing upon my inner fire or sharpening my claws.
I KNOW WHERE MY KEEPER IS, it replied. IF I HAD SOMETHING TO SAY TO HIM, I WOULD GO TO HIM.
Nice to know the arm candy wasn't even important enough to pass messages along. Not like we were practically engaged or anything. Better to go tiptoe around someone who half hated you than ask his girlfriend to help, not like she mattered...
I caught myself at the ridiculous thought, blinking. Where the hell had that come from? I had no excuse to be in such a mood, unexpected visit or not. Abyss was a great lover and a better teacher, and David was always one metaphorical phone call away if I wanted to talk or hang out, whether we were together or not.
DEATH must've caught my surface thoughts, or at least the accompanying emotions, because it winced apologetically, the way David sometimes did (had they really started rubbing off on each other already?), and reached out to grab my shoulder, before hesitating.
I nodded, perfunctorily because I was balkibg at my absurd outburst, and its posture relaxed. Its hand was cool as it rested on my scales, light and smooth.
IT IS NOT THAT, it said, shaking its head. I AM HERE TO SPEAK TO YOU, BUT IF YOU FEEL NEGLECTED, PERHAPS I CAN HELP ASSUAGE YOUR DOUBTS ON THAT FRONT.
I smiled awkwardly, sitting back down and gesturing next to me. 'Sorry. Just being stupid. It'll pass.' I glanced at its empty eye sockets as it sat down, then, voice mildly reproachful, said, 'You coulda knocked, ya know.'
AFTER YOU DID NOT RESPOND, it replied, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER TO ANNOUNCE MY PRESENCE IN A MORE OBVIOUS WAY.
'Oh.' I blushed in embarrassment, cheeks glowing, and cleared my throat. It wasn't just not paying attention to my surroundings. Had I just ignored a vistor? Geez... 'Have you, ah, been waiting outside for long.'
DO NOT FRET. It held up a hand. IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE. I SENT A THOUGHT YOUR WAY, BUT YOU SEEMED LOST IN YOUR OWN MIND. It looked around. I TRUST I AM NOT INTRUDING.
I held up my hands. 'Let's just admit this was awkward and move on, ok?' I asked with a self-deprecating but hopeful smile, and was relieved when DEATH nodded. 'Thank you. You were saying you'd come to talk.'
INDEED. It stood up, looking thoughtfully at its chosen shape. BUT I KNOW THIS FORM UNSETTLES YOU, FOR IT BRINGS TO MIND CERTAIN RECENT EVENTS. PERHAPS THIS WOULD BE BETTER?
As soon as it said the last word, its avatar changed, becoming a creature I hadn't seen in a while.
"Hogge" was spotless as far as people went, much less pigs, though I still almost started shooing it out, instinctively. Its hooves barely made a sound as it made its way to sit in front of me, looking up like a dog, tongue lolling out and framed by its tusks. Its yellow eyes gleamed with an intelligence I was still baffled I'd missed.
My smile tightened, and I wondered what the heck I was supposed to say. Sure, Hogge looked cuter than most of its other forms (at least if you didn't know what it was), less dangerous, but this just reminded me of the way it had spent decades around David, watching and waiting, hiding the truth.
Like Andrei. My smile almost faded at that thought.
Yeah, DEATH's transformation probably wasn't gonna be as reassuring as it had hoped.
Sighing, I took its snout in both hands, scratching it under its chin. 'What are you trying to do, you goofball?'
It snorted, seemingly satisfied, showing its teeth in a grin far too human to have a place on its piggish face. MAKE YOU LAUGH? it tried. WHO DOESN'T LAUGH AT TALKING PIGS? OINK.
I chuckled, despite myself. Wouldn't have been surprised to learn some poor saps had underestimated Hogge only to find out what it really was.
And...yes. This was probably the result of David's influence. I couldn't imagine the DEATH my boyfriend had described early on joking like this.
I let go, and Hogge settled on the floor, resting its head on its forelegs. Its ears flopped to mostly cover its eyes, giving it a dopey look that natched the smile.
'Go on, then,' I said. 'What do you wanna talk about?'
Hogge's head twitched and its ears were suddenly pinbed back, reminding me of a human tossing back their hair. Its corny grin had disappeared too. SEVERAL THINGS, it replied, holding up a hoof and stabbing at the air. I took it as the equivalent to holding up fingers. FIRST OF ALL, I MUST THANK YOU, YOUNG ZMEU.
I arched an eyebrow. 'For?' I asked, bemused. Had I ever done something to help it? I couldn't recall.
FOR BEING THE FLAME IN THE BLIZZARD THAT IS MY KEEPER'S LIFE. Its eyes dimmed, until they were only points of shadow, so much darker than its face that they stood out. HE WOULD DISLIKE ADMITTING IT, BUT WITHOUT YOU, HE WOULD SPEND MUCH LESS TIME HELPING THE VIRTUOUS HE GATHERS, AND MUCH MORE TORMENTING THE WICKED.
The Hierophant had told me this, too. But where the Unbeing had been arguing that I should be worshipped like they venerated David, DEATH didn't really have a reason to convince me I was awesome. Not to mention it must've known everything I'd ever talked with the Creed Ascendant's members.
'That's nice to know,' I said neutrally, neglecting to mention I'd heard it before. 'And I'm glad that being with me helps David stay positive, but I'm not sure why that matters to you.'
I was playing dumb. I had heard that DEATH preferred to give people the afterlife they deserved, but I wasn't sure I believed it. Given its stunt with Andrei, it didn't seem to shy away from doing whatever it took to advance its agenda.
IT MATTERS, DEATH said, BECAUSE GOOD COMES TO THE GOID, AND SUFFERING COMES TO THE EVIL. WHEN THEY DO NOT, SOMEONE OUGHT TO MAKE IT SO.
I couldn't tell if it was lying (small wonder. With how powerful it was, it would've been weird if it couldn't evade my senses), but it didn't matter. Whether it really cared or was just putting on a show, David did care, and he was more than able to give everyone their due.
'You're welcome, I guess.'
Hogge smiled at my response, then went on. THANK YOU. FOR THE REST, I WOULD PREFER IF MY KEEPER WAS HERE, TOO. IN THE MEANTIME, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NEWEST LOVER?
* * *
Even with David next to me, soothing my temper, I couldn't help but think how patronising that request had felt. Like asking a kid to talk about school until their parents arrived. And, sure, my flings felt pretty damn childish compared to my relationship with David, but still.
Both of them rushed to reassure me when I voiced these thoughts, but DEATH urged David to let it talk, and he let it, giving me a concerned look all the while.
I squeezed his hand, smiling at him to let him know I wasn't seriously mad at anything, and turned to the Idea of Destruction. It had shed its pig form in the meantime, opting for a black silhouette with ragged edges, resembling an ink-black, partly-flayed man, strips of skin hanging from his limbs.
THAT RELATES TO WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT NEXT, ACTUALLY, DEATH said, being tactful enough not to talk about blessings in disguise. It took the room in. IF I MAY EXPLAIN?
'Go ahead,' David saud, leaning back into the couch with his arms crossed. He was wearing a loose grey shirt and sweatpants of the same colour, with a couple black stripes running up each leg.
I liked seeing him in casual stuff. He looked great in anything, or nothing, don't get me wrong, but he dressed like this when he could relax. When I saw him in suits or that grey armour he'd taken to wearing a while back, it was usually on the way to or from a mission as Keeper or as the Mover's troubleshooter.
That was my boyfriend. Prince of existence, regent of creation, grand adjudicator of all things wrought.
It always made him laugh when I called him any of then in bed, and I laughed along, because he was cute when he was being modest.
Constantin, who had watched the exchange in silence, took his hands off his chair's armrests to clasp them in his lap. Eyes like slashes of white fire regarded DEATH from a face of crimson flame.
It felt great to know he was protective of me, but I didn't want them to start fighting if Costi disagreed with something, and hoped it wouldn't come to that. He'd always been passionate, and having Uriel in his head had only enhanced that. I doubted the Archangel would stop him from taking a swing at death. Hell, he'd probably encourage him.
'I came here,' God's Mouth began, 'to discuss a family visit with my son and his beloved. I hope it would not be much to ask that you keep this brief, so we might begin talking.'
Constantin was also hoping DEATH wouldn't do something to ruin the mood, or, especially, upset me. He wanted David and my meeting with his parents to go as well as possible.
IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MOMENT, DEATH promised, dipping its chin at God's Mouth. Then, to me, it said, LADY IN FLAMES, I MUST CONGRATULATE YOU FOR NOT REPEATING THE MISTAKES OF MY MIRROR-SIBLING.
I stared at it, waiting for it to elaborate. I had a vague idea of LIFE's mistakes, but I wasn't sure how anything I'd done could be compared with them, or why it was thanking me.
ALOW ME TO EXPLAIN. It spread its arms, and above one hand, a small, glowing white figure, the edges of its glow dancing with all colours of the rainbow, appeared. It resembled two ouroborous snakes, intertwined in the rough shape of a DNA helix. A pretty blunt representation of life and its nature, but I supposed it worked.
IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN THE MY SIBLINGS WERE FINDING THEIR ROLES, I STOOD BACK AND WAITED. I REPRESENTED THE END OF, AT THAT POINT, ONLY THE NOTHINGNESS THAT HAD COME BEFORE. AND I HAD NOTHING TO DO.
I knew I was being unfair to those so hurt only fading into oblivion held any appeal for them, but the thought of death not ending anything was oddly inspiring.
EVENTUALLY, OTHER THINKING BEINGS CAME ALONG, AND I TOOK THEM WHEN I HAD TO, FOR THEY HELD NO FAITH. THAT WAS MY PURPOSE, THOUGH ONE THRUST UPON ME, AND I WAS AS CONTENT AS IT COULD BE. It hung its head. MY TWIN WASN'T SO CAREFUL.
The representation of life began to writhe, the snakes twisting and tearing at each other, ripping out chunks of flesh that were healed as soon as they were bitten off. Some of the wounds, however, were covered by strange growths rather than healthy flesh.
LIFE WAS GREATLY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT CREATION'S DENIZENS. HOW COULD IT NOT? THEY WERE IT, IN SO MANY WAYS. DEATH clenched a fist, and the snakes' struggle stopped, leaving them glaring and hissing at each other. BUT THAT PASSION GREW SICKLY, DESPITE EVERYONE'S ATTEMPTS TO STOP IT.
The dark silhouette held its hands out in fron of itself, stance regretful. IT PUSHED THE FLAWED - AND WHO WAS OTHERWISE? - TO GROW. WHEN ONE WENT AGAINST WHAT IT HAD DEEMED GOOD AND PROPER, IT BROKE THEM, AND FORCED THE SHELLS TO GROW, TOO.
DEATH began pacing angrily. I TOLD IT TO STOP, AGAIN AND AGAIN, SAID THIS WASN'T OUR FATHER'S DESIGN, BUT IT BRUSHED ME OFF EVEN AS I REAPT THOSE SHATTERED BY ITS MADNESS. IN THE END, IT FELL TO ME TO STOP IT. I LED THE CHARGE, AS IT WERE, AND OF LIFE'S CARCASS, I MADE AN ARMOURY FOR THE TOOLS OF DESTRUCTION THAT FELL INTO MY HANDS, FOR THEY ARE KINDRED TO ME.
DEATH was silent for a while, and its voice was tired when it spoke again. THAT WAS NOT THE LAST SIBLING I HAD TO OUT DOWN. FEAR, IN ITS QUEST TO BRING THOSE WHO TERRORISED TO JUSTICE REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY FOLLOWED, DREW THE IRE OF TOO MANY PANTHEONS, AND I HAD TO CHAIN IT, FOR THE GOOD OF EXISTENCE. ITS CHILDREN BEAR ME NO GRUDGE, BUT HOW CAN I BE FORGIVEN UNTIL IT IS FREED BY THE ONE MEANT FOR IT?
It stopped for a while, stewing over the past. I was about to prompt it when it said, KING SUN'S DESCENT WAS NOT BROUGHT ABOUT BY THESE EVENTS, BUT WITNESSING THEM DID LITTLE FOR HIS FAITH IN OUR CREATOR.
'Solarex made his own bed,' David said, a mixture of sadness and disappointment on his features. 'I cannot say I wouldn't have been angered after losing Mia to cosmic chance, but I like to think I wouldn't have become as pettily cruel as him.'
AS YOU SAY, MY KEEPER, DEATH agreed. MIA, WHAT I MEANT WAS THIS: LIFE COULD NOT BEAR TO SEE THOSE WHO HAD SPRUNG FROM ITS LOINS STRUGGLE. IT KNEW IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR THEM TO GROW ON THEIR OWN, IT HURT TO SEE THEM CRUMBLE EVEN AS IT ENJOYED THE PAIN OF THOSE IT PUNISHED, BUT IT NEVER STOPPED.
It moved closer to me, and the air in the room grew colder, while the moonlight streaming through the windows dimmed and the sounds of birds and crickets outside became inaudible even to my hearing. DEATH laid a hand on my arm as it began to talk. IT IS GOOD THAT YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO THE FOOLS WHO DERIDE THE LOVE BETWEEN YOU AND MY KEEPER. LET THEM CRY CHEATING AND CUCKOLDRY; YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, YOU AGREE TO BE TOGETHER, DESPITE EVERYTHING. SUCH DETAILS DO NOT MATTER.
DEATH smiled as it look me in the eyes, its own pinpricks of white light like dwarf stars. I KNOW YOU HAVE FELT THE TEMPTATION TO CUT AWAY YOUR URGES, TO MAKE YOURSELF LESS THAN YOU ARE, FOR THE SAKE OF MY KEEPER'S OEACE OF MIND. IT IS GOOD THAT YOU HAVE NOT - YOU HEARD WHAT CHANGES UNWANTED BY ANYONE CAN LEAD TO.
'I'd never forgive myself if you mutilated yourself like that for me,' David said, meeting my eyes while placing a hand where my knee would've been in human form. 'Don't worry, Mia. It doesn't really matter that much.'
Constantin smiled warmly but guardedly at us . Likely, he wanted to congratulate us, but didn't feel like opening up around DEATH.
I knew the feeling.
INDEED, DOING SO WOULD, MORE THAN LIKELY, LEAVE MY KEEPER DISTRAUGHT ENOUGH TO LOSE HOPE, AND BECOME THE UNCARING WARDEN OF THE AETHER YOUR LOSS WOULD BRING ABOUT.
'Oh, I get it,' I said in mock anger. 'It's not my happiness that matters. It's all about keeping David happy so he does his job properly.' I blew out some fire. 'Well, I'm orange enough to be a carrot anyway.' DEATH would just have to stay thin enoigh to be the stick.
'Baby!' David said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes with a grin, nudging him. 'I'm joking, you dork.' Then, more seriously, 'Protecting existence comes before what some scaly nympho wants.'
David gave me a look I wasn't sure I understood, then said, 'My worse half has something to say on that note.'
'Later?'
'Whenever you want,' he said, his strigoi side's voice melding with his own as they looked at me.
I kissed him briefly, just a chaste brush of the lips, then turned my attention back to DEATH, who looked satisfied at the display of affection.
Peeping tom? Nah, folks. Just making sure one of the three scariest people in all macrocosms keeps his head in the game.
And if I could help with that...well. I'd never thought I'd do much with my life. Now, if only I became powerful enough to be more than dead weight should David need help...
I'd keep working on my domain. I was getting there. I could already separate it from both zmeu country's wilds and the demesnes of other zmeu, even if I couldn't shape it in any meaningful sense. It would take a while until I could tap into it while outside zmeu country, but Abyss had assured me we would get there.
'Was that all?' I asked DEATH, wrapping a hand around David's.
The Idea of Endings scratched its narrow chin. FOR NOW. THAT IS, I HAVEN'T SPOKEN ABOUT THE FUTURE. YOUR CHILDREN...
I looked at David as it trailed off, obviously prompting us to talk, and in his eyes, I saw nothing had changed since our last talk about kids. 'What about 'em?' I asked DEATH.
YOU CANNOT SIMPLY HAVE THEM. SOME FAITHCRAFT, A LITTLE IMBUED DIVINE POWER, SHOULD SUFFICE TO MAKE AN UNDEAD FERTILE AGAIN, BUT IT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE. MORAL OBJECTIONS, DISTRACTIONS, UNLIVES ENDED PREMATURELY...SOMETHING ALEAYS INTERVENES. THIS IS NO COINCIDENCE.
David groaned the way he sometimes did when, while telling me about the Mover, he realised something it had teased him about, which was obvious in hindsight.
Not to say that was the reason for the reaction: simply, the exasperation was similar.
'Nothing's changed, then,' my strigoi grumbled. 'I must still give of myself if I want to become a father.'
GIVE OF YOURSELF, AND ALL THE UNLIVING WILL BECOME ABLE TO SIRE HEIRS ONCE MORE, DEATH confirmed. FOR SUCH ACTIONS ECHO ACROSS CREATION, AND THE RIPPLES THEY CAUSE MIGHT BECOME TIDES. It looked almost mortifird when it looked at me. BUT THAT IS NOT ALL. LADY IN FLAMES, KNOW THAT, IN BEING TAKEN BY MY KEEPER, ONE OF YOUR SCIONS WILL BEAR A TRACE OF MY NATURE, THOUGH THEY MIGHT WELL SURPASS ME IN POWER.
That was...not unexpected. I hadn't given much thought to what our kids might be like, but I knew unions between powerful beings often resulted in children who resembled their parents, and their parents' patrons, in terms of powers.
In fact, I'd been so focused on living in the moment, when I wasn't looking for ways around David's infertility (you'd think someone like him could just shapeshift or warp reality to somve that, but it wasn't that simple. Something to do with unlife being unable to beget life being a fact of creation) that I'd almost forgotten about DEATH's influence. I gave it a steady look. 'Won't love 'em less,' I said, 'marked by you or not.'
And it better keep its grubby mitts off my kids. I didn't give a rat's ass if it took me forever to love them the way human mothers were supposed to from the start. No one was going to hurt them or take them away, cosmological constant or not.
THAT IS GOOD, DEATH said, FOR GREAT DESTRUCTION WILL FOLLOW THEM, AND THEY WILL BREAK WITHOUT MEANING TO, AS CHILDREN DO.
* * *
After a few more congratulations, and promises that it had our backs, DEATH left, or at least altered its avatar until I could no longer perceive it.
I pressed two fingers between my nostrils, having no nose to pinch, then tried to smile as I looked up at God's Mouth. 'You were gonna tell us about your folks, Costi.'
'Right.' Constantin laced his fingers. 'I can only speak about the people I remember, for I have not seen them since they died in my boyhood, but...they were good, Mia. They did not judge. They were openminded, for those days, even if more...' He coughed lightly. 'Ah, rustic, than you are used to.'
'Oh?' I said innocently, enjoying the way he shifted in his seat. I was being a twat, but Constantin was smart enough to know there wasn't anything to be nervous about, teasing be damned.
'Well,' he said, eyes flitting between me and David, who had that thoughtful look he wore when trolling people. 'Well, that is, they were traditional.' He stood up, smoothing down his habit. 'Perhaps it would be better if you explained why you do not curb your instincts. This should prevent any dismissal or misunderstanding that you enjoy sleeping around.' He gave me a sympathetic look. 'I know you hate when people talk like you're an animal, unable to help itself.'
'Thanks,' I said. 'What about everything else.'
'The same should go for revealing you enjoy all kinds of lovers,' Constantin said, deliberately calm, as if he were talking about my preferences in food. 'By which I mean, it would help if you explained it is a conscious choice. Not an urge.' He scratched the back of his head. 'They did not have much contact with zmei, and I know you would dislike being pitied for no reason.'
I gave him a thumb's up, looked at David, and said, in a pompous voice, 'Truly, you have the patience of saints to indulge your whorish woman to this extent, our grandson.' Leaning forward, I asked, in a hushed tone, 'What does she give you, in exchange?'
'I'm sure you will like each other,' Constantin said. 'They were no bigots, my dear. You just have to be understanding.'
More like everyone would have to be. Speaking of understanding... 'When are you going to tell us how you and Rivka got it on?'
Costi, who had briefly turned his head to look out the window, met my gaze. 'Hmm? You haven't talked at work?' He stroked his beard. 'Surprising. That woman never stops talking, even when you think she shouldn't be able to.'
I wiggled my eyebrows, and he smirked, before saying, 'I would rather tell it once. She promised to notify me as soon as her schedule is cleared.'
God's Mouth, due to what his duty entailed, had close ties to both ARC and the various Abrahamic organisations, since he often had to work with them. Classified information wasn't going to be an issue, thankfully.
That dubious honour went to something else. 'Andrei and Simona...Costi, from what you told me about your parents, they'd think Andrei is a gutless coward for leaving David like he did, then hiding himself.'
'They're still coming,' Constantin said. 'I've talked with them, when they are able to break apart long enough.' He gave me a somewhat mortified look, and I tried not to laugh. Andrei and David's mom were making up for lost time, among other things.
Initially, I'd been unsure about taking them along, but I'd understood Constantin's reasoning, and David had chimed in, agreeing.
Looked like all was left was to collect them, Constantin's ghoul friend, and pack our bags.
* * *
AN: Last week, I didn't have the energy to write when I had the time, but I have both now. Similar hiatuses are unlikely to happen again soon.
This is the cobtinuation to the first part of the Family Matters series' Silva storyline. There are going to be at least three parts, but there might be more.
* * *
Mia
I was pleasantly tired when I returned home, thinking that, for once, I might just get to enjoy the drowsiness that was the closest zmei could come to exhaustion.
Should've known better.
I was silently thanking Abyss for helping me get to this point as I walked in and stretched, arms overhead. David's house, which I was starting to think of as ours more and more, had almost replaced my apartment as my usual haunt.
Zmeu country was always nice to return to, but recently, being there just reminded me of what slow progress I was making on my demesne, and the country wasn't the sort of place where you went to skulk.
I was sitting on one of the couches, rubbing my eyes, when I saw the dark shape in the doorway. For an instant, I almost thought it was David, their auras were so similar, but reason quickly caught up with my senses and I noticed the differences.
It was thin, resembling a scarecrow with its sparse form swathed in voluminous black robes. Not gigantic, but its gauntness made it look taller than it was, as if someone had stretched it out and there was only so much left.
I knew some people saw my boyfriend as a Grim Reaper figure, especially when he came to take them to the afterlife or end them - power like that makes your perception buckle - but I still felt silly for confusing them with each other.
DEATH didn't have its scythe in the open when it entered the luving room, but, once I stood up and it came close enough that I could glimpse it on its back, it suddenly seemed much more visible, as if it had grown, or like someone had polished its ivory-coloured blade to a mirror sheen.
LADY IN FLAMES.
I nodded in greeting. Names were names, and being acknowledged only deserved so much in return.
I was probably being bitchy, but it had entered my house without asking, and we weren't friends at the best of times.
'Are you looking for David?' I asked instead of saying hello. A ridiculous question, sure; if it was and hadn't found him, my much duller senes wouldn't help. But we had little to talk about otherwise.
It shook its head, a skull covered in pale flesh as thin as paper, one skeletal hand resting on the handle of the scythe slung across its back. I wondered if it was a reassuring gesture, like me drawing upon my inner fire or sharpening my claws.
I KNOW WHERE MY KEEPER IS, it replied. IF I HAD SOMETHING TO SAY TO HIM, I WOULD GO TO HIM.
Nice to know the arm candy wasn't even important enough to pass messages along. Not like we were practically engaged or anything. Better to go tiptoe around someone who half hated you than ask his girlfriend to help, not like she mattered...
I caught myself at the ridiculous thought, blinking. Where the hell had that come from? I had no excuse to be in such a mood, unexpected visit or not. Abyss was a great lover and a better teacher, and David was always one metaphorical phone call away if I wanted to talk or hang out, whether we were together or not.
DEATH must've caught my surface thoughts, or at least the accompanying emotions, because it winced apologetically, the way David sometimes did (had they really started rubbing off on each other already?), and reached out to grab my shoulder, before hesitating.
I nodded, perfunctorily because I was balkibg at my absurd outburst, and its posture relaxed. Its hand was cool as it rested on my scales, light and smooth.
IT IS NOT THAT, it said, shaking its head. I AM HERE TO SPEAK TO YOU, BUT IF YOU FEEL NEGLECTED, PERHAPS I CAN HELP ASSUAGE YOUR DOUBTS ON THAT FRONT.
I smiled awkwardly, sitting back down and gesturing next to me. 'Sorry. Just being stupid. It'll pass.' I glanced at its empty eye sockets as it sat down, then, voice mildly reproachful, said, 'You coulda knocked, ya know.'
AFTER YOU DID NOT RESPOND, it replied, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER TO ANNOUNCE MY PRESENCE IN A MORE OBVIOUS WAY.
'Oh.' I blushed in embarrassment, cheeks glowing, and cleared my throat. It wasn't just not paying attention to my surroundings. Had I just ignored a vistor? Geez... 'Have you, ah, been waiting outside for long.'
DO NOT FRET. It held up a hand. IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE. I SENT A THOUGHT YOUR WAY, BUT YOU SEEMED LOST IN YOUR OWN MIND. It looked around. I TRUST I AM NOT INTRUDING.
I held up my hands. 'Let's just admit this was awkward and move on, ok?' I asked with a self-deprecating but hopeful smile, and was relieved when DEATH nodded. 'Thank you. You were saying you'd come to talk.'
INDEED. It stood up, looking thoughtfully at its chosen shape. BUT I KNOW THIS FORM UNSETTLES YOU, FOR IT BRINGS TO MIND CERTAIN RECENT EVENTS. PERHAPS THIS WOULD BE BETTER?
As soon as it said the last word, its avatar changed, becoming a creature I hadn't seen in a while.
"Hogge" was spotless as far as people went, much less pigs, though I still almost started shooing it out, instinctively. Its hooves barely made a sound as it made its way to sit in front of me, looking up like a dog, tongue lolling out and framed by its tusks. Its yellow eyes gleamed with an intelligence I was still baffled I'd missed.
My smile tightened, and I wondered what the heck I was supposed to say. Sure, Hogge looked cuter than most of its other forms (at least if you didn't know what it was), less dangerous, but this just reminded me of the way it had spent decades around David, watching and waiting, hiding the truth.
Like Andrei. My smile almost faded at that thought.
Yeah, DEATH's transformation probably wasn't gonna be as reassuring as it had hoped.
Sighing, I took its snout in both hands, scratching it under its chin. 'What are you trying to do, you goofball?'
It snorted, seemingly satisfied, showing its teeth in a grin far too human to have a place on its piggish face. MAKE YOU LAUGH? it tried. WHO DOESN'T LAUGH AT TALKING PIGS? OINK.
I chuckled, despite myself. Wouldn't have been surprised to learn some poor saps had underestimated Hogge only to find out what it really was.
And...yes. This was probably the result of David's influence. I couldn't imagine the DEATH my boyfriend had described early on joking like this.
I let go, and Hogge settled on the floor, resting its head on its forelegs. Its ears flopped to mostly cover its eyes, giving it a dopey look that natched the smile.
'Go on, then,' I said. 'What do you wanna talk about?'
Hogge's head twitched and its ears were suddenly pinbed back, reminding me of a human tossing back their hair. Its corny grin had disappeared too. SEVERAL THINGS, it replied, holding up a hoof and stabbing at the air. I took it as the equivalent to holding up fingers. FIRST OF ALL, I MUST THANK YOU, YOUNG ZMEU.
I arched an eyebrow. 'For?' I asked, bemused. Had I ever done something to help it? I couldn't recall.
FOR BEING THE FLAME IN THE BLIZZARD THAT IS MY KEEPER'S LIFE. Its eyes dimmed, until they were only points of shadow, so much darker than its face that they stood out. HE WOULD DISLIKE ADMITTING IT, BUT WITHOUT YOU, HE WOULD SPEND MUCH LESS TIME HELPING THE VIRTUOUS HE GATHERS, AND MUCH MORE TORMENTING THE WICKED.
The Hierophant had told me this, too. But where the Unbeing had been arguing that I should be worshipped like they venerated David, DEATH didn't really have a reason to convince me I was awesome. Not to mention it must've known everything I'd ever talked with the Creed Ascendant's members.
'That's nice to know,' I said neutrally, neglecting to mention I'd heard it before. 'And I'm glad that being with me helps David stay positive, but I'm not sure why that matters to you.'
I was playing dumb. I had heard that DEATH preferred to give people the afterlife they deserved, but I wasn't sure I believed it. Given its stunt with Andrei, it didn't seem to shy away from doing whatever it took to advance its agenda.
IT MATTERS, DEATH said, BECAUSE GOOD COMES TO THE GOID, AND SUFFERING COMES TO THE EVIL. WHEN THEY DO NOT, SOMEONE OUGHT TO MAKE IT SO.
I couldn't tell if it was lying (small wonder. With how powerful it was, it would've been weird if it couldn't evade my senses), but it didn't matter. Whether it really cared or was just putting on a show, David did care, and he was more than able to give everyone their due.
'You're welcome, I guess.'
Hogge smiled at my response, then went on. THANK YOU. FOR THE REST, I WOULD PREFER IF MY KEEPER WAS HERE, TOO. IN THE MEANTIME, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NEWEST LOVER?
* * *
Even with David next to me, soothing my temper, I couldn't help but think how patronising that request had felt. Like asking a kid to talk about school until their parents arrived. And, sure, my flings felt pretty damn childish compared to my relationship with David, but still.
Both of them rushed to reassure me when I voiced these thoughts, but DEATH urged David to let it talk, and he let it, giving me a concerned look all the while.
I squeezed his hand, smiling at him to let him know I wasn't seriously mad at anything, and turned to the Idea of Destruction. It had shed its pig form in the meantime, opting for a black silhouette with ragged edges, resembling an ink-black, partly-flayed man, strips of skin hanging from his limbs.
THAT RELATES TO WHAT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT NEXT, ACTUALLY, DEATH said, being tactful enough not to talk about blessings in disguise. It took the room in. IF I MAY EXPLAIN?
'Go ahead,' David saud, leaning back into the couch with his arms crossed. He was wearing a loose grey shirt and sweatpants of the same colour, with a couple black stripes running up each leg.
I liked seeing him in casual stuff. He looked great in anything, or nothing, don't get me wrong, but he dressed like this when he could relax. When I saw him in suits or that grey armour he'd taken to wearing a while back, it was usually on the way to or from a mission as Keeper or as the Mover's troubleshooter.
That was my boyfriend. Prince of existence, regent of creation, grand adjudicator of all things wrought.
It always made him laugh when I called him any of then in bed, and I laughed along, because he was cute when he was being modest.
Constantin, who had watched the exchange in silence, took his hands off his chair's armrests to clasp them in his lap. Eyes like slashes of white fire regarded DEATH from a face of crimson flame.
It felt great to know he was protective of me, but I didn't want them to start fighting if Costi disagreed with something, and hoped it wouldn't come to that. He'd always been passionate, and having Uriel in his head had only enhanced that. I doubted the Archangel would stop him from taking a swing at death. Hell, he'd probably encourage him.
'I came here,' God's Mouth began, 'to discuss a family visit with my son and his beloved. I hope it would not be much to ask that you keep this brief, so we might begin talking.'
Constantin was also hoping DEATH wouldn't do something to ruin the mood, or, especially, upset me. He wanted David and my meeting with his parents to go as well as possible.
IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MOMENT, DEATH promised, dipping its chin at God's Mouth. Then, to me, it said, LADY IN FLAMES, I MUST CONGRATULATE YOU FOR NOT REPEATING THE MISTAKES OF MY MIRROR-SIBLING.
I stared at it, waiting for it to elaborate. I had a vague idea of LIFE's mistakes, but I wasn't sure how anything I'd done could be compared with them, or why it was thanking me.
ALOW ME TO EXPLAIN. It spread its arms, and above one hand, a small, glowing white figure, the edges of its glow dancing with all colours of the rainbow, appeared. It resembled two ouroborous snakes, intertwined in the rough shape of a DNA helix. A pretty blunt representation of life and its nature, but I supposed it worked.
IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN THE MY SIBLINGS WERE FINDING THEIR ROLES, I STOOD BACK AND WAITED. I REPRESENTED THE END OF, AT THAT POINT, ONLY THE NOTHINGNESS THAT HAD COME BEFORE. AND I HAD NOTHING TO DO.
I knew I was being unfair to those so hurt only fading into oblivion held any appeal for them, but the thought of death not ending anything was oddly inspiring.
EVENTUALLY, OTHER THINKING BEINGS CAME ALONG, AND I TOOK THEM WHEN I HAD TO, FOR THEY HELD NO FAITH. THAT WAS MY PURPOSE, THOUGH ONE THRUST UPON ME, AND I WAS AS CONTENT AS IT COULD BE. It hung its head. MY TWIN WASN'T SO CAREFUL.
The representation of life began to writhe, the snakes twisting and tearing at each other, ripping out chunks of flesh that were healed as soon as they were bitten off. Some of the wounds, however, were covered by strange growths rather than healthy flesh.
LIFE WAS GREATLY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT CREATION'S DENIZENS. HOW COULD IT NOT? THEY WERE IT, IN SO MANY WAYS. DEATH clenched a fist, and the snakes' struggle stopped, leaving them glaring and hissing at each other. BUT THAT PASSION GREW SICKLY, DESPITE EVERYONE'S ATTEMPTS TO STOP IT.
The dark silhouette held its hands out in fron of itself, stance regretful. IT PUSHED THE FLAWED - AND WHO WAS OTHERWISE? - TO GROW. WHEN ONE WENT AGAINST WHAT IT HAD DEEMED GOOD AND PROPER, IT BROKE THEM, AND FORCED THE SHELLS TO GROW, TOO.
DEATH began pacing angrily. I TOLD IT TO STOP, AGAIN AND AGAIN, SAID THIS WASN'T OUR FATHER'S DESIGN, BUT IT BRUSHED ME OFF EVEN AS I REAPT THOSE SHATTERED BY ITS MADNESS. IN THE END, IT FELL TO ME TO STOP IT. I LED THE CHARGE, AS IT WERE, AND OF LIFE'S CARCASS, I MADE AN ARMOURY FOR THE TOOLS OF DESTRUCTION THAT FELL INTO MY HANDS, FOR THEY ARE KINDRED TO ME.
DEATH was silent for a while, and its voice was tired when it spoke again. THAT WAS NOT THE LAST SIBLING I HAD TO OUT DOWN. FEAR, IN ITS QUEST TO BRING THOSE WHO TERRORISED TO JUSTICE REGARDLESS OF WHO THEY FOLLOWED, DREW THE IRE OF TOO MANY PANTHEONS, AND I HAD TO CHAIN IT, FOR THE GOOD OF EXISTENCE. ITS CHILDREN BEAR ME NO GRUDGE, BUT HOW CAN I BE FORGIVEN UNTIL IT IS FREED BY THE ONE MEANT FOR IT?
It stopped for a while, stewing over the past. I was about to prompt it when it said, KING SUN'S DESCENT WAS NOT BROUGHT ABOUT BY THESE EVENTS, BUT WITNESSING THEM DID LITTLE FOR HIS FAITH IN OUR CREATOR.
'Solarex made his own bed,' David said, a mixture of sadness and disappointment on his features. 'I cannot say I wouldn't have been angered after losing Mia to cosmic chance, but I like to think I wouldn't have become as pettily cruel as him.'
AS YOU SAY, MY KEEPER, DEATH agreed. MIA, WHAT I MEANT WAS THIS: LIFE COULD NOT BEAR TO SEE THOSE WHO HAD SPRUNG FROM ITS LOINS STRUGGLE. IT KNEW IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR THEM TO GROW ON THEIR OWN, IT HURT TO SEE THEM CRUMBLE EVEN AS IT ENJOYED THE PAIN OF THOSE IT PUNISHED, BUT IT NEVER STOPPED.
It moved closer to me, and the air in the room grew colder, while the moonlight streaming through the windows dimmed and the sounds of birds and crickets outside became inaudible even to my hearing. DEATH laid a hand on my arm as it began to talk. IT IS GOOD THAT YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO THE FOOLS WHO DERIDE THE LOVE BETWEEN YOU AND MY KEEPER. LET THEM CRY CHEATING AND CUCKOLDRY; YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, YOU AGREE TO BE TOGETHER, DESPITE EVERYTHING. SUCH DETAILS DO NOT MATTER.
DEATH smiled as it look me in the eyes, its own pinpricks of white light like dwarf stars. I KNOW YOU HAVE FELT THE TEMPTATION TO CUT AWAY YOUR URGES, TO MAKE YOURSELF LESS THAN YOU ARE, FOR THE SAKE OF MY KEEPER'S OEACE OF MIND. IT IS GOOD THAT YOU HAVE NOT - YOU HEARD WHAT CHANGES UNWANTED BY ANYONE CAN LEAD TO.
'I'd never forgive myself if you mutilated yourself like that for me,' David said, meeting my eyes while placing a hand where my knee would've been in human form. 'Don't worry, Mia. It doesn't really matter that much.'
Constantin smiled warmly but guardedly at us . Likely, he wanted to congratulate us, but didn't feel like opening up around DEATH.
I knew the feeling.
INDEED, DOING SO WOULD, MORE THAN LIKELY, LEAVE MY KEEPER DISTRAUGHT ENOUGH TO LOSE HOPE, AND BECOME THE UNCARING WARDEN OF THE AETHER YOUR LOSS WOULD BRING ABOUT.
'Oh, I get it,' I said in mock anger. 'It's not my happiness that matters. It's all about keeping David happy so he does his job properly.' I blew out some fire. 'Well, I'm orange enough to be a carrot anyway.' DEATH would just have to stay thin enoigh to be the stick.
'Baby!' David said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes with a grin, nudging him. 'I'm joking, you dork.' Then, more seriously, 'Protecting existence comes before what some scaly nympho wants.'
David gave me a look I wasn't sure I understood, then said, 'My worse half has something to say on that note.'
'Later?'
'Whenever you want,' he said, his strigoi side's voice melding with his own as they looked at me.
I kissed him briefly, just a chaste brush of the lips, then turned my attention back to DEATH, who looked satisfied at the display of affection.
Peeping tom? Nah, folks. Just making sure one of the three scariest people in all macrocosms keeps his head in the game.
And if I could help with that...well. I'd never thought I'd do much with my life. Now, if only I became powerful enough to be more than dead weight should David need help...
I'd keep working on my domain. I was getting there. I could already separate it from both zmeu country's wilds and the demesnes of other zmeu, even if I couldn't shape it in any meaningful sense. It would take a while until I could tap into it while outside zmeu country, but Abyss had assured me we would get there.
'Was that all?' I asked DEATH, wrapping a hand around David's.
The Idea of Endings scratched its narrow chin. FOR NOW. THAT IS, I HAVEN'T SPOKEN ABOUT THE FUTURE. YOUR CHILDREN...
I looked at David as it trailed off, obviously prompting us to talk, and in his eyes, I saw nothing had changed since our last talk about kids. 'What about 'em?' I asked DEATH.
YOU CANNOT SIMPLY HAVE THEM. SOME FAITHCRAFT, A LITTLE IMBUED DIVINE POWER, SHOULD SUFFICE TO MAKE AN UNDEAD FERTILE AGAIN, BUT IT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE. MORAL OBJECTIONS, DISTRACTIONS, UNLIVES ENDED PREMATURELY...SOMETHING ALEAYS INTERVENES. THIS IS NO COINCIDENCE.
David groaned the way he sometimes did when, while telling me about the Mover, he realised something it had teased him about, which was obvious in hindsight.
Not to say that was the reason for the reaction: simply, the exasperation was similar.
'Nothing's changed, then,' my strigoi grumbled. 'I must still give of myself if I want to become a father.'
GIVE OF YOURSELF, AND ALL THE UNLIVING WILL BECOME ABLE TO SIRE HEIRS ONCE MORE, DEATH confirmed. FOR SUCH ACTIONS ECHO ACROSS CREATION, AND THE RIPPLES THEY CAUSE MIGHT BECOME TIDES. It looked almost mortifird when it looked at me. BUT THAT IS NOT ALL. LADY IN FLAMES, KNOW THAT, IN BEING TAKEN BY MY KEEPER, ONE OF YOUR SCIONS WILL BEAR A TRACE OF MY NATURE, THOUGH THEY MIGHT WELL SURPASS ME IN POWER.
That was...not unexpected. I hadn't given much thought to what our kids might be like, but I knew unions between powerful beings often resulted in children who resembled their parents, and their parents' patrons, in terms of powers.
In fact, I'd been so focused on living in the moment, when I wasn't looking for ways around David's infertility (you'd think someone like him could just shapeshift or warp reality to somve that, but it wasn't that simple. Something to do with unlife being unable to beget life being a fact of creation) that I'd almost forgotten about DEATH's influence. I gave it a steady look. 'Won't love 'em less,' I said, 'marked by you or not.'
And it better keep its grubby mitts off my kids. I didn't give a rat's ass if it took me forever to love them the way human mothers were supposed to from the start. No one was going to hurt them or take them away, cosmological constant or not.
THAT IS GOOD, DEATH said, FOR GREAT DESTRUCTION WILL FOLLOW THEM, AND THEY WILL BREAK WITHOUT MEANING TO, AS CHILDREN DO.
* * *
After a few more congratulations, and promises that it had our backs, DEATH left, or at least altered its avatar until I could no longer perceive it.
I pressed two fingers between my nostrils, having no nose to pinch, then tried to smile as I looked up at God's Mouth. 'You were gonna tell us about your folks, Costi.'
'Right.' Constantin laced his fingers. 'I can only speak about the people I remember, for I have not seen them since they died in my boyhood, but...they were good, Mia. They did not judge. They were openminded, for those days, even if more...' He coughed lightly. 'Ah, rustic, than you are used to.'
'Oh?' I said innocently, enjoying the way he shifted in his seat. I was being a twat, but Constantin was smart enough to know there wasn't anything to be nervous about, teasing be damned.
'Well,' he said, eyes flitting between me and David, who had that thoughtful look he wore when trolling people. 'Well, that is, they were traditional.' He stood up, smoothing down his habit. 'Perhaps it would be better if you explained why you do not curb your instincts. This should prevent any dismissal or misunderstanding that you enjoy sleeping around.' He gave me a sympathetic look. 'I know you hate when people talk like you're an animal, unable to help itself.'
'Thanks,' I said. 'What about everything else.'
'The same should go for revealing you enjoy all kinds of lovers,' Constantin said, deliberately calm, as if he were talking about my preferences in food. 'By which I mean, it would help if you explained it is a conscious choice. Not an urge.' He scratched the back of his head. 'They did not have much contact with zmei, and I know you would dislike being pitied for no reason.'
I gave him a thumb's up, looked at David, and said, in a pompous voice, 'Truly, you have the patience of saints to indulge your whorish woman to this extent, our grandson.' Leaning forward, I asked, in a hushed tone, 'What does she give you, in exchange?'
'I'm sure you will like each other,' Constantin said. 'They were no bigots, my dear. You just have to be understanding.'
More like everyone would have to be. Speaking of understanding... 'When are you going to tell us how you and Rivka got it on?'
Costi, who had briefly turned his head to look out the window, met my gaze. 'Hmm? You haven't talked at work?' He stroked his beard. 'Surprising. That woman never stops talking, even when you think she shouldn't be able to.'
I wiggled my eyebrows, and he smirked, before saying, 'I would rather tell it once. She promised to notify me as soon as her schedule is cleared.'
God's Mouth, due to what his duty entailed, had close ties to both ARC and the various Abrahamic organisations, since he often had to work with them. Classified information wasn't going to be an issue, thankfully.
That dubious honour went to something else. 'Andrei and Simona...Costi, from what you told me about your parents, they'd think Andrei is a gutless coward for leaving David like he did, then hiding himself.'
'They're still coming,' Constantin said. 'I've talked with them, when they are able to break apart long enough.' He gave me a somewhat mortified look, and I tried not to laugh. Andrei and David's mom were making up for lost time, among other things.
Initially, I'd been unsure about taking them along, but I'd understood Constantin's reasoning, and David had chimed in, agreeing.
Looked like all was left was to collect them, Constantin's ghoul friend, and pack our bags.
Statistics: Posted by Strigoi Grey — 2024-08-06 07:47am